James 4 says “You do not have because you do not ask.” and “You ask and do not receive.” So, which is it?

One important thing I have come to understand is that Father is not a genie I can get to act in specific ways if I just ask properly. Additionally, I've found that He is interested in what is best for us and others and that His view of that is far more comprehensive than mine.

My advice for those who struggle with this is to give up on worrying about praying. If necessary, take some time off and don't feel badly about it.