Hating your Parents
Hating Your Parents
In the Gospels we find some curious statements about hating parents. This seems inconsistent with the directive throughout the Bible that we are to love one another and honor and obey our parents (Ephesians 6:1, Exodus 20:12, Deuteronomy 5:16).
Two texts that we might find disturbing are these.
Matthew 10:34–39
“Do not think that I came to bring peace on the earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I came to TURN A MANAGAINST HIS FATHER, AND A DAUGHTER AGAINST HER MOTHER, AND A DAUGHTER-IN-LAW AGAINST HER MOTHER-IN-LAW; and A PERSON’S ENEMIES WILL BE THE MEMBERS OF HIS HOUSEHOLD. “The one who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me; and the one who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And the one who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. The one who has found his life will lose it, and the one who has lost his life on My account will find it. (NASB 2020)
Luke 14:26–27
“If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his own father, mother, wife, children, brothers, sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple. Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple." (NASB 2020)
Reading these passages in context, we find Jesus stating that He did not come to bring peace, but a sword.
This is very curious since He is called the Prince of Peace.
This is very curious because John 3:17 tells us that He was not sent to condemn the world, but to save it.
This is very curious because Ephesians 2:17 says HE CAME AND PREACHED PEACE TO YOU WHO WERE FAR AWAY, AND PEACE TO THOSE WHO WERE NEAR.
This is very curious because Isaiah 57:19 says the same thing as Ephesians 2:17.
So, in some places the Bible tells us that Jesus brings peace, yet here He Himself says that He did not come for that reason, but to bring conflict (a sword) instead.
In contemplating these seemingly contradictory Bible passages, we might be reminded of other passages such as Isaiah 8:14–15 “Then He will become a sanctuary; But to both houses of Israel, He will be a stone of stumbling and a rock of offense, And a snare and a trap for the inhabitants of Jerusalem. Many will stumble over them, Then they will fall and be broken; They will be snared and caught.” (NASB 2020)
Paul speaks of this as well. In Romans 9:30–33 He says, "What shall we say then? That Gentiles, who did not pursue righteousness, attained righteousness, but the righteousness that is by faith; however, Israel, pursuing a law of righteousness, did not arrive at that law. Why? Because they did not pursue it by faith, but as though they could by works. They stumbled over the stumbling stone, just as it is written: “BEHOLD, I AM LAYING IN ZION A STONE OF STUMBLING AND A ROCK OF OFFENSE, AND THE ONE WHO BELIEVES IN HIM WILL NOT BE PUT TO SHAME.” (NASB 2020)
Peter brings this home, saying in 1 Peter 2:1–8 “Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander, and like newborn babies, long for the pure milk of the word, so that by it you may grow in respect to salvation, if you have tasted the kindness of the Lord. And coming to Him as to a living stone which has been rejected by people, but is choice and precious in the sight of God, you also, as living stones, are being built up as a spiritual house for a holy priesthood, to offer spiritual sacrifices that are acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. For this is contained in Scripture: “BEHOLD, I AM LAYING IN ZION A CHOICE STONE, A PRECIOUS CORNERSTONE, AND THE ONE WHO BELIEVES IN HIM WILL NOT BE PUT TO SHAME.” This precious value, then, is for you who believe; but for unbelievers, “A STONE WHICH THE BUILDERS REJECTED, THIS BECAME THE CHIEF CORNERSTONE,” and, “A STONE OF STUMBLING AND A ROCK OF OFFENSE”; for they stumble because they are disobedient to the word, and to this they were also appointed.” (NASB 2020)
Therefore, what these passages in the Gospels are telling us is that believing in Jesus Christ may very well bring division between us and others, even those closest to us. Nevertheless, Christ Jesus is the only hope we have of eternal Life.
Jesus summed it up in the final phrase in the passage from Matthew "The one who has found his life will lose it, and the one who has lost his life on My account will find it." and in the passage from Luke. “If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his own father, mother, wife, children, brothers, sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be My disciple. Whoever does not carry his own cross and come after Me cannot be My disciple." (NASB 2020)
Unless we are crucified with Christ (see Galatians 2:20)
unless we give up our life (see Romans 6:6)
unless we put our faith in the Lord Jesus
We have no hope of righteousness and the eternal Life it yields.
That often has ramifications because He is a stumbling block for many, and that may include even members of our own family.
